Tuesday is the worst day of the week.

If you remember my first post, it was something along the lines of why I think Tuesday is the worst day of the week. Well, just in case you’ve been waiting, here it is. Lets start with Wednesday…

Wednesday: For us 9-5’ers, Wednesday is also known as ‘Hump Day,’ no, not because we hump on Wednesday (even though we could and sometimes do), but because it’s the middle of the week. It’s all down hill from here. In fact, by the end of lunchtime we’ve passed the halfway mark. Another good thing about Wednesday is that tomorrow is Thursday, the day before Friday.

Thursday: Thursday, the day before Friday. We’re done with Wednesday and we start making our plans for the weekend, which starts tomorrow. We sometimes stay up a little bit later on Thursday night and we start to forget the perils of the week up to this point. We rest easy knowing that Tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow, at 5:00, the weekend starts.

Friday: The weekend is here! Yeah, technically Saturday and Sunday are considered the “weekend,” but what else are you going to do after 5:00 Friday afternoon? You pick up a six-pack on your way home from work, go home, prop your feet up and say, “Ah, I’m glad it’s Friday.” Some of us drink the whole six-pack, maybe even twelve, maybe more. There’s nothing better than an ice-cold brew after a long week. We do this because we can, because it’s Friday and we don’t have to work in the morning. Tonight we’ll hang out, party, catch a live band, or whatever else. We rest easy because, well, probably because we just downed eighteen beers.

Saturday: First we sleep late and nurse our hangover, drink a full pot of coffee, and ponder repeating what we did last night tonight. We’ll decide on that later. Today we can do whatever we want. It’s probably a good day to go buy that Lawn-Boy Lawnmower we’ve been eyeing, and while we’re at the hardware store we might as well pick up some other useless tools that look cool. After we mow the yard, weather permitting, we reward ourselves with a beer, or two, or three, or eighteen. And, if we’re not too terribly intoxicated we will again hang out, party, catch a live band, or whatever else. Tomorrow is Sunday, and we can sleep late again.

Sunday: Again, we sleep late. Unless we go to church Sunday usually starts of rather slow. Sunday is always a slow day, as we need to recuperate from two nights worth of drinking…can’t show up to work drunk! Tomorrow is Monday, but it’s not that bad.

Monday: Monday keeps us in check. It keeps us from getting carried away with our weekends, but most importantly, we get to tell our co-workers about our new Lawn-Boy lawnmower. You know, the one with the cast aluminum deck, easy lift bag, and soft comfort grips. Oh, and it’s self-propelled too. Anyway, Monday lets us start over, especially if we last week was particularly bad. The only bad thing about Monday is that tomorrow is Tuesday.

Tuesday: The worst day of the week. Why, because we’ve already told our co-workers about our new lawnmower and weekend binge. Because we are not halfway through the week and tomorrow is not Thursday or Friday. Or Saturday. Tuesday sucks. There is nothing special about Tuesday.

No, not all of us buy a new lawnmower on the weekend, but you get what I mean ,right?